No Ordinary Love Page 37

  “You’re brilliant,” Robert said.

  “Thank you,” Tony said. “You are an asshole and a turd.”

  Robert frowned. “I’m sure she told you that.”

  “No,” Tony said. “My brother thinks you are an asshole. My friend Aika thinks you are a turd. I think you are an asshole and a turd.”

  “Trina!” Robert yelled.

  “Do not yell,” Tony said. “Only Trina yells in this house.” Tony smiled. “I make her yell, Robert. Three times last night. She said, ‘Oh, Tony, thank you, oh yes.’” Tony smiled. “Sometimes she curses and growls. I like it when she does that. I have scratches on my back. Do you want to see them?”

  Trina’s door opened, and Trina stuck out her head. “Robert, what are you doing here?”

  “I am talking to Robert,” Tony said.

  “I know that, Tony.” She edged out the door. “I’m asking Robert why he’s here.”

  Tony winked at Trina. “I am talking to Robert. You go back to bed.” Tony’s eyes traveled from Robert’s shiny black shoes to his shiny, clean-shaven face. “Why are you here?”

  “It does not concern you,” Robert said. “Trina, we need to—”

  “It concerns me,” Tony interrupted. “Why are you here?”

  “Tony, I’m going to talk to the only other adult in the room now,” Robert said. “You go watch your weather like a good boy, okay?”

  “The television is not on,” Tony said. “I like watching the weather outside the window now.”

  “Oh, that’s special,” Robert said.

  “It is,” Tony said. “It is a beautiful morning. Now you will answer my question. Why are you here?”

  I’ve found a man with a backbone at last, Trina thought. “Answer him, Robert. I have nothing to say to you.”

  “He won’t understand what I’m about to say,” Robert said.

  “I am from Brooklyn,” Tony said. “I speak asshole. I speak turd. You are an asshole and a turd. I will understand what you have to say.”

  Trina smiled. Is this the Italian in him, the Brooklyn in him, or the real Tony in him? Go ahead, man! Kick Robert’s ass!

  “I came to try to win you back, Trina,” Robert said.

  “Trina is not a game to win,” Tony said.

  “It’s just an expression,” Robert said. “Oh, but you have trouble thinking metaphorically, don’t you?”

  Tony smiled. “Metaphorically speaking, I do not like the expression. Metaphorically speaking, love is not a game with winners and losers. Metaphorically speaking, true love is only for winners.”

  Robert clapped his hands three times. “Bravo. Will that be another song, Art E.?”

  “Yes,” Tony said. “And it will sell a million copies so I can buy Trina a house on the beach and a car so she can teach me how to drive.”

  Where is this cockiness coming from? Trina wondered. This man, this man. He continues to amaze me!

  Robert took a step to his left.

  Tony stepped to his right to block him.

  “I want another chance, Trina,” Robert said.

  “I am her second chance,” Tony said. “Trina will not need a third chance.”

  Robert sighed. “Do you really want to spend your life with this . . . this . . . chromosomal defect?”

  “I am not a chromosomal defect,” Tony said. “I am a unique member of the human race. I belong here. You do not belong here.”

  “Trina, think about what you’re doing,” Robert said. “Any children you may have with this . . . anomaly of the gene pool . . . may get Asperger’s. You are aware of that?”

  Oh, that’s low. “Robert, I would rather—”

  “Trina,” Tony interrupted. “I am talking to Robert.”

  “But he’s ignoring you, Tony,” Trina said.

  “He cannot ignore me any longer.” He took a step toward Robert. “I am here to stay. You are going to leave. I do not want you to call Trina anymore. I do not want you to visit Trina anymore. I do not want to see your face anymore. Trina will not need your money anymore. She will not need those flowers. We will plant flowers at our new house.”

  Robert took a step backward. “I’m not going to listen—”

  “You are going to listen,” Tony interrupted.

  “Do you really expect me to take you seriously?” Robert asked.

  “Yes,” Tony said. “I am seriously standing in front of you. I am seriously not letting you speak to Trina. I am seriously thinking of punching you in the nose. I am seriously thinking of hurting you. I am seriously thinking of knocking you the hell out.”

  Kick his ass! Trina screamed in her mind. Scuff his shoes! Get blood on his shirt!

  “You’re out of your mind,” Robert said.

  “I am never out of my mind,” Tony said. “You would not like me if I were really out of my mind.” He stared hard into Robert’s eyes.

  Robert turned away.

  “Trina is a good person,” Tony said. “You took advantage of her. She worked hard for you to become a doctor. You became a doctor. You left her for your mistress. You cheated. You had an affair. You slept with someone who is not your wife. You hurt Trina’s heart. You did not pay Trina enough alimony. You told Trina what to think. You ordered Trina around. You did not listen to Trina.”

  “I’m trying to listen now, Trina,” Robert said. “I can change.”

  “You are a diaper that cannot be changed,” Tony said. “You are a bully like Nurse Sprouse the heartless wench. You bring Trina flowers. I bought her shoes. You bring her flowers. I gave her a new job. You bring her flowers. I bought her a house. You bring her flowers. I will give her a snowflake child for each knee. You bring her flowers. I give her love.” Tony pointed to the door. “It is not rude to point when the person in front of you is rude. Robert, you will leave now. You will not come back.”

  Robert turned toward the door and stopped. “Trina, you’re not thinking this through.”

  “You did not think this through, Robert,” Tony said. “You thought you could get Trina back with flowers. You cannot get love that way. Trina loves me, and I love her as best as I can.”

  “You’re throwing the rest of your life away,” Robert said.

  “No,” Tony said. “She threw her life away when she met you. She has found her life again with me.” Tony grabbed the bouquet and shoved it into Robert’s hands. Then he stepped around Robert and opened the door. “Good-bye.”

  “Trina, you are going to regret this,” Robert said.

  “You will regret not leaving in exactly ten seconds,” Tony said. “I am counting. I have an excellent sense of time.”

  Robert turned and left.

  Tony shut the door.

  Trina ran to him, throwing her arms around his neck. “You were wonderful.”

  Tony looked at Trina’s arms. “This is a hug women give to other women when they are nervous.”

  Trina ground her hips into his legs and rubbed her forehead on his chest. “Is this better?”

  “I do not know,” Tony said. “Are you nervous?”

  “No,” Trina said.

  “Then yes,” Tony said. “This is a better hug. It is much warmer.”

  Trina pulled Tony’s arms up and placed his hands on her lower back. “I didn’t know you had it in you.”

  “I am a surprise,” Tony said.

  “Constantly,” Trina said. “Thank you.”

  Tony looked at the couch. “You like surprises.”

  “I love surprises,” Trina said.

  “We will make love on the couch now,” Tony said. He lifted off her T-shirt and dropped her panties in a flash.

  “But there’s not enough room,” Trina said.

  “I will sit,” Tony said, unzipping his pants. “And then you will sit. And if we hurry, Robert will get to hear you yelling ‘oh God, oh yes, oh Tony I am coming’. . .”

  San Francisco, California and Los Angeles, California

  44

  The week before the Grammy Awards in Lo
s Angeles was busy.

  Mostly for Janine at Tiffany & Co. at Union Square.

  While movers took three days to carefully remove the Vance’s furniture, window dressings, clothing, and artwork from “The Castle West,” Angelo and Aika packed and shipped Tony’s map books and piano to arrive in San Francisco within a week. While Trina gleefully picked out furniture for their house at DZINE, Tony found a quiet spot and called Tiffany’s.

  “Not yet,” Janine said.

  At Funky Furniture, Trina selected furniture for their shared office at the Santangelo Asperger’s Center.

  Tony walked out to the sidewalk and called Tiffany’s.

  “Soon,” Janine told him. “I promise.”

  Tony signed a stack of legal documents Matthew sent, and Trina mailed them back to Brooklyn the same day. Tony was fitted for a charcoal Southwick suit at Cable Car Clothiers. He refused to wear any tie.

  Trina didn’t pout. “You look better without it,” she said.

  While Trina commissioned local fashion designer Victor Tung to make her a one-of-a-kind crème dress with hand-painted gold designs, Tony sneaked into a changing room and called Tiffany’s.

  “New York told me the last time I called that the diamond had yet to arrive,” Janine said.

  “The diamond is playing hide-and-seek,” Tony said.

  “We know it’s on its way,” Janine said. “We’re doing the best we can, Tony.”

  “No,” Tony said. “If you were doing your best, Trina would be wearing her ring now.”

  While Trina got a manicure, pedicure, and her first-ever facial at Nob Hill Spa, Tony sat in the waiting area and called Tiffany’s.

  “I’ve located the shipment, Tony,” Janine said. “It flew out of Darwin, Australia, to Honolulu, Hawaii, yesterday. It should be in New York either late today or tomorrow.”

  “Why can’t it come to San Francisco?” Tony asked. “You can make it here.”

  “We don’t make them here,” Janine said. “It’s our policy to—”

  Tony hung up on Janine.

  He called Janine back a minute later to apologize.

  While Trina had her hair done at J. Roland, Tony walked outside and called Tiffany’s.

  “It’s there!” Janine cried. “It’s in New York!”

  “They are making the ring now,” Tony said.

  “All I know is that the diamond is at the New York store,” Janine said. “It will be ready soon.”

  “It will be ready in time for me to give it to her at the Grammy Awards,” Tony said.

  “I don’t know,” Janine said. “We’ll have to cross our fingers.”

  “I have been doing that a lot,” Tony said. “My fingers need lotion.”

  Carlos gave Tony another great haircut, and Tony tipped him another thousand dollars. Naini crowded some of her things into Trina’s apartment. Trina made first-class flight reservations to LA and secured a suite at L’Ermitage Beverly Hills for a week.

  Everything was moving like clockwork.

  Except the making of Trina’s ring.

  “I do not understand,” Tony said to Janine. “They have the diamond. They should have the ring finished.”

  “It takes time to properly fit such a large diamond, Tony,” Janine said. “You wouldn’t want it to fall off, would you?”

  “No,” Tony said. “But if it did, I would glue it back on.”

  While Trina slept two nights before the Grammys, Tony crept through Naini’s belongings out to the purple couch at 3:00 AM and called Angelo.

  “I still do not have the ring, Angelo,” Tony said. “I want to ask Trina to marry me, but I need the ring.”

  “Do you know what time it is?” Angelo asked.

  “Yes,” Tony said. “It is three AM here and six AM there. They are still making the ring at Tiffany’s in New York.”

  “Be patient,” Angelo said. “I’ve put you on speaker. He’s perseverating about the ring again. Say hello to Aika.”

  “Hello, Aika,” Tony said. “And I am not perseverating. I am worrying. There is a difference.”

  “Good morning, Tony,” Aika said. “And please don’t worry.”

  “I am sorry if I woke you,” Tony said.

  “It’s okay,” Aika said.

  “I have been thinking of a solution,” Tony said. “When you bring Silver to San Francisco, wait at Tiffany’s at Union Square for the ring. I will send you the receipt overnight like I did with Matthew’s papers. It will be there tomorrow. Then you can bring the ring to me in Los Angeles for the Grammy Awards.”

  “That’s too much trouble,” Angelo said. “Why don’t I go to the Tiffany’s here, pick it up when it’s ready, and bring it to you when we fly out with Silver on Friday?”

  “But I will already be in Los Angeles on Friday,” Tony said. “Trina wanted to get there a day early to rest.”

  “It’s okay, Tony,” Angelo said. “We’ll fly in to San Francisco on Friday, put Silver up in a kennel Saturday, and fly down to LA on Sunday.”

  “But I have the receipt in my wallet,” Tony said.

  “So you already paid for it,” Angelo said.

  “Yes,” Tony said. “Thirty thousand dollars.”

  Tony heard what sounded like a whump.

  “Ow, Aika!” Angelo shouted.

  “You are hurt,” Tony said.

  “Aika just hit me,” Angelo said.

  “Why did Aika hit you?” Tony asked.

  “You spent more for Trina’s ring than I spent on hers,” Angelo said. “She already hit me when I told her you got Trina a six-point-five-carat ring.”

  “But I have the receipt,” Tony said.

  “Don’t worry about it,” Angelo said. “Aika and I will go over to Tiffany’s tomorrow and explain everything to them.”

  “Okay,” Tony said. “You will call me when you have the ring.”

  “I’ll text you, okay?” Angelo said. “That way Trina won’t hit the speaker button and ruin your surprise.”

  “Okay,” Tony said. “Thank you, Angelo.”

  “Hey,” Angelo said, “what are brothers for?”

  “They are for helping their brothers,” Tony said. “And thank you for taking care of Silver for me, Aika.”

  “You’re welcome, Tony,” Aika said. “Now go back to bed.”

  “I am wired,” Tony said.

  “Then wake up Trina,” Aika said.

  “She is tired,” Tony said. “I kept her up all night again.”

  “Were you snoring or something?” Angelo asked.

  “No,” Tony said. “We were making a snowflake child. Three times. How long does it take? We have had sex so often we should have had many snowflake children by now.”

  “Tony,” Angelo said. “That’s too much information, man.”

  “No, it isn’t,” Aika said. “Tony, I want you to go back into the bedroom now.”

  “I will wake up Trina,” Tony said.

  “That’s the point,” Aika said. “And thank you for waking us up, Tony. We need to be making a niece for you and Trina to spoil.”

  “That is too much information,” Tony said. “Ha ha. Bye.”

  Tony crawled back into bed. He rubbed Trina’s back. He squeezed Trina’s leg. He caressed her buttocks. He slipped his hand between her legs. He pressed her button. He made small circles.

  Trina stirred. “Again?”

  “Yes,” Tony said.

  Trina turned to him. “Oh, all right. But make it quick.”

  “I cannot make it quick,” Tony said. “I can only make it good.”

  Trina smiled. “Then make . . . it . . . good.”

  As they walked hand in hand on the carpet in front of the Staples Center in LA on Grammy night, photographers blinded Tony and Trina while reporters pelted them with questions:

  “Tony, do you think you’ll win this year?”

  “Trina, where did you get that dress?”

  “Tony, where’s your tie?”

  “Trina, is it true you, Tony,
and Naini Mitra are a triple?”

  Tony put his lips near Trina’s left ear. “A triple is what you get in baseball when you hit it and get to third base. He said we are a triple.”

  “It’s the press’s way to stir up a mess,” Trina said, smiling for the next batch of photographers.

  “I do not understand,” Tony said.

  “They think we are dating Naini,” Trina whispered.

  “We are not dating Naini,” Tony said. “Why would we be dating Naini?”

  “The media wants us to be dating Naini,” Trina said, kissing his cheek. “The press sees us hugging on you or holding your hands and they get weird about it.”

  “They get weird,” Tony said.

  Trina gently tugged his arm until she could put her lips on his ear. “They think we’re having sex with Naini,” Trina whispered.

  Tony blinked. “But we have not had sex with her. I only want to have sex with you.”

  “Good to know,” Trina whispered.

  “I will stop hugging her and holding her hand,” Tony said.

  That’s my future husband, Trina thought. “It’s okay if you hug her or hold her hand. I know you love me.” They posed in front of the Grammy Awards logo. “And it’s okay if you love Naini, too. She’s my friend, and I love her to death.”

  “I hope you do not love her to death,” Tony said. “I would not want Naini to die.” Tony felt his phone buzz. I have a text message, he thought. I do not get text messages. This means Angelo has the ring. He looked around at the crowds. Now all I need is Angelo.

  Trina nodded at the main entrance. “Do you remember what we’re supposed to say when the Entertainment Tonight reporter talks to us?”

  “Yes,” Tony said. “I remember.”

  Before they finally entered the Staples Center, Entertainment Tonight reporter Bryant Belton, at his unholy smarmiest, stood between Tony and Trina. “Tony, darling, is it true you’re going to go solo now?”

  “I am not your darling,” Tony said. “I am Trina’s darling.”

  Belton blinked.

  “Yes,” Tony said. “My brother Angelo is making arrangements for me to play in Central Park this summer.”

  “Like Elton John did about a hundred years ago?” Belton asked.

  “No, like me,” Tony said. “And it was not one hundred years ago. It was in 1980. I will not wear a duck costume like Elton John did. I will wear Banana Republic clothes.”